When the Grim Reaper’s shadow touches a soul, there is no getting around the inevitable. It’s time to die, adios. I ask myself if every thing in life is temporary what is the point in living? I believe it is about leaving something behind like a trail of breadcrumbs. To give bits and pieces of yourself to other people, and take parts of them in you. In the end these crumbs form a legacy bigger than any trail of consumer products or carbon footprints.
I hate it when I hear someone say “If I died today. I would have no regrets.” Ludacris. People boast to make themselves look good in front of other people. A classic example of, “Survival tactic 101.” Also, I know first hand that denial is a strong defense mechanism. To face death takes courage. He does not negotiate.
Maybe the point of life is to have faith. Faith that there is another world after we die. One that after the body extinguishes the soul is transported to an alternate universe. When upon entering, we are greeted by our ancestors who have prepared a party for our arrival. A world in which no one is judged, and we live eternally knowing only unconditional love. Although, I love a good star trek episode, I am haunted with doubt. Frozen in fear of the unknown that hits me not in my waking hours but when I sleep.
I dream I am exploring an empty series of caves going from one to the next, and feeling isolated and detached from everyone I care about. I am searching for something, and cannot find it. In the dream I am sad, and I realize I am dreaming about death.
In this dream there is no Grim Reaper, no angels, no ancestors. There is nothing but emptiness. I break out in a cold sweat, and wake up freaked out. My heart pumping a zillion miles per hour. My body is frozen with fear.
Finally I sit up in my bed, Whoosh, and I thank the universe for bringing me back to life. It’s funny because I know what love, anger, betrayal, humility, happiness, sadness and drunkenness feels like, but I have no idea what death feels like. I pray that death is a new and exciting journey. So, I go back to sleep and dream about how I am going to live, and I dream big. PEACE